Chances of zero-carbon homes have fallen to virtually zero, and UK MPs postpone green debates for yet another day. Greenwasher also takes a sideways look at Polish banking, product placement and bad press release writing

Green Michelin man

Michelin, the French tyre company with an admirable approach to sustainable rubber-sourcing in Brazil, is another company keen to jump on the green bandwagon (provided the wagon has tyres). Its Green Meter website has a massive counter showing the amount of fuel the company has “saved” motorists since 1992 with its “green tyres”. So was this website around in the late 1990s, if the initiative began in 1992? Greenwasher doubts it. This is surely just another example of a company saying: “Hang on, our product is now better/more efficient, let’s pretend it’s green.” Hmm.

Zero-carbon homes

2020, according to some environmentalists, is an important year. Why? Because by then we’ll really need to be on our way to a very low carbon world, or future generations will face dire consequences. Reassuring then, that the UK government is doing its best to get us there – by promising that all new homes by 2016 will need to be “net zero carbon”.

Given the UK’s domestic emissions, zero-carbon can contribute to real carbon cuts. One small wriggling fly in the climate change ointment, though, is that during 2007 the government came up with three different definitions of what a net zero carbon home actually is.

Now the Treasury has revealed to Greenwasher’s sources that it has designed the emissions standard that is supposed to incentivise home-builders and prospective buyers (by offering stamp-duty rebates) to be so tight that virtually no-one will meet it. Using the Treasury’s tight definition, current projections proudly point to just 1,000 zero carbon houses – over the next decade!

Point of order

Irritation all round for a number of non-governmental organisations and businesses invited to appear before the UK parliament’s Environmental Audit Committee for its inquiry on environmental labelling. Members of parliament on the committee keep failing to turn up for meetings. A session due to be held the day after the Queen’s speech in the autumn was cancelled with two hours’ notice, despite a number of charities and companies based outside London sending their chief executives to give evidence. Seemingly, so many MPs on the committee had “come down with something” (laziness?) that there were not enough willing to attend to form a quorum.

All the organisations, which included Tesco, due to give evidence that day were hastily rescheduled for January, but that session was cancelled too, due to “unforeseen circumstances”. Granted, eco-labels are not the most riveting topic for MPs, but it will be interesting to see the quality of the committee’s eventual report.

Polish banks up to old tricks

An emerging responsible business scandal is brewing in one of the EU’s newest and largest member states. Poland, with billions of new foreign investment, rising wages and all that money coming back from places like the UK, is flavour of the month for retail banking expansion. But the banks are heading towards ethical trouble as seen in the past in the UK. It’s the same old credit push story, with corporate social responsibility touted as something the big foreign banks do, but with sales people not informing customers about things like “cooling off periods” – just a small part of responsible lending. As one source close to the issue puts it, “their executives do not give them any incentives for responsible lending practices; they do exactly the opposite”. A scandal waiting to happen?

Product placement

The European Union has just ordered the UK to allow product placement to be integrated into UK television programming. While the BBC has got away with it for years, but without ever being paid, the commercial broadcasters are rubbing their hands in anticipation of this juicy, fast-growing revenue stream. No doubt the current explosion of green marketing will spread to product placement. Greenwasher offers the splendid sum of £10 to the reader who spots the first Prius in EastEnders, or when the contestants on Celebrity Big Brother begin debating the environmental benefits of nuclear power.

And finally, the bleedin’ obvious

Dave Sag, chief executive of Carbon Planet, offers some, er, unsage advice in a December press release passed on to Greenwasher. His company, evidently believing we are all about six years old, has “produced a list of useful tips to help businesses looking for ways to reduce their carbon footprints, and save on bills too”. You mean, if we aim to save carbon we can actually save money too? Get out of here, Dave, you crazy cat. The press release goes on to offer such carbon saving gems as “think before you print” and “take your name off unnecessary or old mailing lists”. Then there is: “An office notice board is a simple way of circulating non-urgent information to staff.” Really? And: “Plants are good for offices.”

Sag leaves the best till last, though, with the nonsensical: “Use suppliers that have CO2-free supply chains or are completely CO2 free!” Carbon Planet then announces: “Carbon Planet hopes these practical tips may help to transform businesses from polluters to environmentally responsible offices … Carbon Planet conducts emissions audits aimed at identifying where reductions can be achieved and also retails fully certified carbon credits.” Thanks, Dave. We’ll call you, OK?

Got a story? Email greenwasher@ethicalcorp.com.



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